Explorations

Rarely do I laugh out loud while reading.  But while scanning a large page of The New York Times  this past Monday night, I came across this statement from Jwl B., whose real name is Jewel Baynham:  ”I got stretch marks, and I’m fat, and I’m wildin”.

File that under “Things I never thought I’d find in the New York Times”

 After laughing out loud in the CAD Lab, I investigated.  Jwl B is half of a lesbian rap duo from Florida, titled ‘Yo Majesty’.  How rare in the world of mainstream hip-hop and rap is an all girl group? Essentially non existant since the heydays of Salt’n'Pepa(the good ol’ days). But that is the very goal of ‘Yo Majesty’, to become popular and tour outside of their already growing fanbase in both Tampa and NYC. I spent the next half hour listening to the their music, and maybe it’s just because I miss Salt’n'Pepa so much, but they’re pretty good. You should check out their music here: YoMajesty

Over the past 24 hours every elderly person I’ve seen has instantly reminded me of a driven, vibrant writer or passionate actor, or passionate actor who barely spoke in full sentences.  Suzanne Kode’s pink lipstick, and her(seemingly) unusual intensity towards film and Sundance stood strongest in my mind. I could not stop thinking about the segment from ‘This American Life’ that we watched. I could not stop thinking about this woman’s attempt to gain entry into Sundance. Or how serious these elderly actors were. (Or how cute)

George Kodak’s now famous last words run through my head as I think about the cast and crew of Bandita ; at 87 Kodak took his own life leaving a simple note, “My work is done. Why wait?” The founder and longtime frontman of Eastman Kodak killed himself in his very last years, for no seeming reason. He had amassed a gigantic personal fortune, was surrounded by family and close friends; successful in a myriad of ways, and yet he remained largly discontent.

I think it’s a fairly universal truth that people want to be wanted. We want to feel needed. We want to know that what we do, say, and think makes a difference for those around us. Kode remarked that after raising children she felt lost.  Understandably so, her task had been accomplished-what else was she to do? This is the very understanding that Kodak had arrived at: My work is done. Why wait? Ira Glass had remarked of Kode and the Bandita folks that these were, ”… people willing themselves to the next stage in their lives, no matter what anyone around them thinks.”

 Seeing these similarities between Kodak and the Bandita folks I think we arrive at another universal truth: Among other important functions, art infuses individuals with a purpose and passion, perhaps in a drastic manner, art offers us a reason to life.

Art, in all of it’s forms, is a constant work process. It is forever something to commit to, any project could be reworked, or revisited. The work evolves over time, and at a point it’s not work anymore; it’s a craft,  a passion, a need to create. This creative expression becomes enriching not only for the artist, but the community is strives to reach as well.  Watching Kode work and listening to her speak, it became very clear that she believes in her art. She believes that what she is doing is alive, and vital and yes, needed.

When my doctor asked me a few day ago what I wanted to be when I grew up, I almost laughed. Actually, I did. “What do I want to be when I grow I up?” Isn’ t this the sort of question 10 year olds are asked? I shrugged off the question, as he assumed my interest in theatre automatically yielded my heart-burning desire to become an actor.  I wondered how many people had similar thoughts about the theatre profession, and soon found myself walking up and down campus finding people to ask.

Surely, Mary Washington’s students would be able to equate theatre with something other than acting…or not. Not only was theatre only about acting, everyone involved was doomed to fail; ending up as a gas station attendant, part time waitress, or teacher.  These interviews brought me to a whole other question: Why is the theatre viewed as an inaccessible career choice?

I consider myself wildly successful, among other things, in the fine art of procrastinating.  It’s a skill I’ve honed over a number of years, though more recently perfected in my college career.  For example, while trying to write this post I’ve already; cleaned my desk, organized a stack of magazines, called my Mom, went to dinner, made my bed, washed some dishes, worked on Lighting Design and then did my Latin homework.  I knew I was really avoiding this post, when I started in on my Latin homework because: 1) I hate, hate doing Latin and 2) I almost never do it until moments before class, or in extreme cases in class.  So I had to ask myself, why was I avoiding this?

The conclusion that I reached is fairly childish and immature, though most certainly common. I was afraid of starting. I was afraid of making a mistake. I was afraid of creating something permanent, something that I would attach myself to.  Moreover, this large, anonymous ’something’ was personal: my thoughts and reflections. I was afraid that I had nothing to say or offer.

I became a theatre major with no real thought process. I just woke up one day freshman spring and filled out my declaration card. This isn’t to say I was careless or thoughtless; but the process required almost no real consideration: it simply seemed right.  It’s only recently, as of this year, that I’ve begun to examine my progress as a student and artist. I feel that I have a great deal of maturing to do within my work, and that this ‘maturing’  will consistently require my attention. Perhaps this need for constant self-examination in regards to communicating my ideas artistically, and enhancing the understanding between myself and the audience(or my peers, or the text), is one of the reasons I was initially attracted to Theatre.  Additionally, I’ve realized there are endless possibilities and ways to accomplish the theatre’s goal of telling a story. A daunting and yet exhilarating realization: There are infinite ways to do the same thing.  Throughout my college career thus far, I’ve strove to find which avenue, or path will fit me best.

The search continues.