Explorations

I consider myself wildly successful, among other things, in the fine art of procrastinating.  It’s a skill I’ve honed over a number of years, though more recently perfected in my college career.  For example, while trying to write this post I’ve already; cleaned my desk, organized a stack of magazines, called my Mom, went to dinner, made my bed, washed some dishes, worked on Lighting Design and then did my Latin homework.  I knew I was really avoiding this post, when I started in on my Latin homework because: 1) I hate, hate doing Latin and 2) I almost never do it until moments before class, or in extreme cases in class.  So I had to ask myself, why was I avoiding this?

The conclusion that I reached is fairly childish and immature, though most certainly common. I was afraid of starting. I was afraid of making a mistake. I was afraid of creating something permanent, something that I would attach myself to.  Moreover, this large, anonymous ’something’ was personal: my thoughts and reflections. I was afraid that I had nothing to say or offer.

I became a theatre major with no real thought process. I just woke up one day freshman spring and filled out my declaration card. This isn’t to say I was careless or thoughtless; but the process required almost no real consideration: it simply seemed right.  It’s only recently, as of this year, that I’ve begun to examine my progress as a student and artist. I feel that I have a great deal of maturing to do within my work, and that this ‘maturing’  will consistently require my attention. Perhaps this need for constant self-examination in regards to communicating my ideas artistically, and enhancing the understanding between myself and the audience(or my peers, or the text), is one of the reasons I was initially attracted to Theatre.  Additionally, I’ve realized there are endless possibilities and ways to accomplish the theatre’s goal of telling a story. A daunting and yet exhilarating realization: There are infinite ways to do the same thing.  Throughout my college career thus far, I’ve strove to find which avenue, or path will fit me best.

The search continues.