Explorations

It began simply enough as a shopping trip.

My Mom and I took an idle day in late June to venture into suburbia’s crowning consumerist achievement: the mall. In all fairness, I should explain that I’m not really a big mall shopper. I can’t wander around aimlessly pretending to be interested, I don’t like trying on clothes, I don’t even like the word ‘food-court’ (and wouldn’t imagine eating there), and in no way do I consider myself a reasonable person…at all costs I try to avoid the mall. But hey, why not? I mean I might as well beat the ‘back to school rush’…right? My Mom and I went to the Gap. Which right there should send a signal that this whole shopping ordeal is not going to end well.

First, my Mom and I are immediately cornered by a peppy sales girl, who tells us what’s on sale, and her name(Kimmy), and that if we need anything we can just ‘Holler’.

‘Oh Kimmy, I won’t hesitate to holler.’ I say with a broad smile. I may have added a wink. May have. My Mom reminds me that, ‘There is a time and place for your humor Anastasia, and here and now isn’t one of them.’ I can tell by her forced quiet tone that she means business, and over the years I’ve learned to fall in line.

I start looking for jeans but give up within a matter of minutes, and end up looking at t-shirts instead. I find myself staring at the (PRODUCT) RED line that Gap has put out; a line that proudly donates ‘Half the profits to support the global fund’s fight against HIV/AIDS in Africa’. I’m not impressed. Not only by the half falling apart t-shirts, which are ‘inspired’ by African designs, but by ignorance of the people selling them. This, if you couldn’t tell is where Kimmy comes back into the story. She asks me if I need any help, and I reply that I’m just looking around. She could have left then, and I’m sure she now regrets not doing so:

‘This is just like really great isn’t it?’ She asks.

I meet her face with a blank stare, ‘What?’

‘You know? This whole Africa thing, it’s like a really great cause.’

I would have just tried really hard to be quiet and polite, but my Mom wasn’t around so I said the first thing that came to mind:

‘Africa is in fact not a really good cause. It’s a continent. Comprised of 53 nations.’

‘Oh no’, Kimmy adds with a laugh, ‘I meant the RED Stuff, it’s like a charity’

Wrongo again Kimmy. ‘Actually, it’s not really even a charity, it’s more a business model. An attempt at an ethical business model. See 50% of the profits support the Global Fund, which treats HIV/AIDS by medication. I guess that’s a good idea. Sure. I totally support treating HIV and AIDS. I’m just saying that buying this t-shirt won’t fool me into thinking I’m a good person because I supported HIV and AIDS treatment in some small and removed way.’

‘Well’, Kimmy begins, ‘I just think that supporting this and Africa is a good idea.’

I can tell that I failed to properly explain myself, so I begin to relent, ‘I agree. Totally.’ But then I gain a second wind, ‘But, Kimmy, could you name say 5, just 5 nations in Africa, this country that you support?’

She opens her mouth and then shuts it.

‘South Africa. That one was almost a gimme! Botswana. Nigeria? Rwanda? Uganda? Zimbabwe? Gabon? Ethiopia? Chad? Could you tell me any issues facing these countries? Or key leaders? Or how many of them hold ‘democratic’(I used air quotes…sad but true) elections?’

At this point she’s shifting uncomfortably, and it’s quite clear I’ve violated the social contract between buyer and salesperson at the Gap. It’s a little late to try and recover. I mumble something about needing to find my Mom, only to turn around and see my Mom standing there. Along with like 3 other Gap staffers.

‘Turns out they don’t have it in medium’, I half sheepishly say to my Mom, who’s smirking. We leave quickly, but not before I shout out, ‘21′. The number of countries that hold somewhat free and democratic elections.

I’m not a reasonable person. Whatsoever. So I understand that these totally unnecessary and unwarranted ‘outbursts’ you might call them, are just a part of who I’ve become. I’m ok with that. I’m also ok with people who are committed to making socially responsible choices. I’m not ok with people who support causes or foundations they in fact know nothing about. People who fool themselves into thinking that they’re doing good. These people are dangerous. People who think that long-term, or sustainable solutions come in the form of trendy, overpriced t-shirts…